WINNER WINNER

CHICKEN DINNER FREE JERSEY!

My deepest thanks to all the ladies who were brave enough to join this competition. For any ladies who missed out I am planning one for September, October time frame, and their is no restriction against the ladies who were in this one to try again.

Second my thanks also go out to the supporters of these lovely ladies. Both were in it from the beginning and then there was no looking back.

So for the results. The winner with 132 votes to 79, in a come from behind victory that I watched as the votes tallied up one by one, is the beautiful Miss Jacquelyn (@Miss_Southwest)

WINNER OF THE CONTEST!

Jacquelyn will be the proud owner of a brand new Nike Jersey of her choice, customized or not. Claire (@theClaireBear23) who fought her way to the final round will be the happy recipient of a customized one of a kind texans t-shirt. Once again thank you for your votes and entries. Go congratulate Jacquelyn, and the other ladies and follow them on twitter dammit!

Yours truly,

@Joeeatstacos

Round 3: Titillating Two

Well we have our Finalist. Jacquelyn (@miss_southwest) had a dominant victory over Bianca (@bigbootybonka) 867-349. Claire Bear (@theClaireBear23) beat our first round bye contestant Jayme (@lee_jayme) 798-428. So I guess we will have a stand off between Jackie and Claire. For this round only one vote per computer yes i know, “you are an asshole Joe!” whatevs get over it… now it will be the most even for both ladies… So here is a copy of the bracket… VOTE HERE!

Your Finalist

Claire Bear (@theClaireBear23)

@theClaireBear23

vs 

Jacquelyn (@Miss_Southwest)

@Miss_Southwest

So Go vote and make sure it counts

Round 2: Fantasy FOUR

In a come from behind win Claire beat out Amanda 251 to 238. Claire’s last day rampage of votes was good enough to accelerate her past Amanda to face our first round bye Jayme.

On the other hand Jacquelyn was gained a lead on Summer and held on to the lead coming out 355 to 135. Now she faces Big Booty Bianca in the semi-finals. Who will win? You guys are the choice makers, you decide who goes to the finals and has a chance at winning a Jersey. Vote here and let us know. Below is the current bracket and then below that are the pictures of our final four. Again thank you to all the ladies who submitted pictures, and thank you all for voting.

ROUND 2: Fantasy Four

Jayme (@lee_jayme)

@lee_jayme

vs

Claire Bear (@theClaireBear23)

@theClaireBear23

AND

Bianca (@bigbootybonka)

@bigbootybonka

vs

Jacquelyn (@Miss_Southwest)

@miss_southwest

So go vote for one or all of these beautiful ladies.

Female Football Fan Contest…

So here is the bracket for the contest. If you click the paper clip you will be able to see the pictures of the lovely ladies. But I will also put the pics at the bottom as well. The first round ends on April 20th 11:59pm. Click the link at the bottom that takes you to where you will vote.

1st ROUND the Sexy Six

Amanda (@amandalynette)

@Amandalynette

VS

Claire (@theClaireBear23)

Claire Bear

Jacquelyn (@Miss_Southwest)

@Miss_Southwest

VS

Summer (TouchdownMonkey)

TouchdownMonkey

Byes:
Jayme (@Lee_jayme) will take winner of Amanda vs Claire
@lee_jayme
Bianca (@bigbootybonka) will take winner of Jacquelyn vs Summer
@bigbootybonka

Girls can Like Football too!

Ok, so I have been brewing over an Idea for the past couple months. Now I want to make it a reality. Spread the word, let your friends know, The Taco Joe is having a picture contest. The winner will get a jersey of their choice paid for by me.

The rules are: you must be wearing an article of clothing representing your favorite team, and willing to be voted on by the masses. You can wear as much or as little as possible. This is for WOMEN only (so Chives even though you’re genitalia aren’t fully formed you can’t enter). Your pictures will be posted bracket like on this blog for vote. Please send pictures to texasmp83@yahoo.com ATTN: GIRLS LOVE FOOTBALL!

Hey what is there to lose? Like I said Winner gets a free Jersey. This is not just for Women Texan fans it is for all women football fans. Don’t worry guys I will be holding my own event for you gents.

If you have any questions hit me up on twitter @joeeatstacos or email me.

DEADLINE IS APRIL 14th for submissions!


*By submitting your photo, you release the use of said photo for the use however it is seen fit.*

Senior Bowl?

Unfortunately, I was off playing football so I was unable to watch the senior bowl. I want to know of you who did watch it; What impressed you? Who do you want drafted? and What positions are of need?

Who gets paid, and who gets laid…off.

So here we are. A week out from the loss to the Ravens. Back to a familiarity for many Texans fans… Free Agency rumor mills, and Senior Bowl. It is that time of year where we all speculate who the Texans will resign, and what new talent gets brought in.  Here is a list of current Texans (at least for now) and whether or not they will be back to start the 2012 season.

Mario Williams: I am calling it right now, Mario decides the chance at [a] ring/s is more important than the almighty greenback. He is still going to hit the pocket book pretty hard, but not as hard as if we were still the Frank Bush led Defense. BACK in AUG

Arian Foster: Oh you know he is comin back! No doubt the Poetic Pterodactyl is gonna stay in the city that made him famous. I have no doubt in my mind that he would rather have fame than fortune. He is this generations Earl Campbell. Now I am gonna get lots of hate for saying it. I am a bit too young to really remember the Tyler Rose but watched enough film to know that it was beautiful to watch him work. As it is with Arian. BACK in AUG

Neil Rackers: Now this was a hard decision. Because I am a fan of the Kamikaze Kicker. He has been damn consistent since comin to Houston. But his contract is hefty. If Houston can’t get him for cheaper than his current contract one or two things might happen. Undrafted Kicker comes in to fill his shoes with Neil lookin for a new team, or said udfa K is brought in to have another “camp competition” like when he was brought in. Gone 

Chris Meyers: I have to give it to this guy. He has been amazing this year. In fact our entire O-Line has been. I was on the Meyers hate train prior, but he is definitely the person I want snapping to Schaub next year. Back in AUG

Mike Brisiel: Earned my respect. But if he doesnt comeback I think Caldwell is serviceable enough. Still on the fence

Derrick Ward: The only way he is staying around next year is if he takes a huge pay cut. Gone

Quintin Demps: I liked what I saw from Mr. Demps after his return to the team. I think he is more of an asset than Kubes thought when he was cut prior to the season. Back in AUG

Jason Allen: With the way Kareem looked in the last couple of games I see improvement. I do not think K-Jax is a ballhawk, but honestly if he can keep getting his hands in and defending the receiver he will be our #2 next year. Gone

Dominique Barber: The brother of Chicago Bears RB/KR Marion, hasn’t lived up to my expectations. He has been solid in tackling but I think with the current S depth and the amount of serviceable safeties on our team Mr. Barber is packing his bags. I honestly hope he finds a team where he can shine but I believe he is a casualty of the cap. Gone

Joel Dreesen: He has been one of the most dependable TEs in the redzone. He might actually get a bigger payday in another team with how well he preformed this past year. I think Houston has to make a tough decision. But we still have G. Graham and Casey on the roster. Gone

So am I right? am I wrong? or am I just a friggin moron?

This is just the Beginning!

Andre Johnson pointin to the stands

Well ladies and Gents the season is over for the Texans. And man was it a ride this year. But I am here to say that the NFL should be prepared for a good little dynasty by the Texans. Yeah I am callin it right now. Houston will be the perennial playoff contender for the next 10 yrs. Our Defense is young, and damn did they make the National media (Who I poked fun at last week) look like fools shutting down most of the Ravens Offense! Including the goal line stand keeping both Ricky and Ray Rice out of the endzone. Your Texans are gonna be a force and everyone should be scared when they see HOU on their schedule for at least the next 5-10 yrs. If it wasnt for Aldon Smith, and Von Millers awesome year JJ Watt would be Houstons third DROY in 6 years. He is still my Rookie of the Year! BRIAN CUSHING IS A MONSTER AND I AM GLAD HE IS IN HOUSTON! The addition of Johnathan Joseph, and Daniel Manning were great signings. But Wade Phillips is still the best acquisition this offseason. (Thank you Southern Oklahoma Cowbitches) I am glad he is staying in Houston and cant wait to see who he picks up during FA and draft. On the Defensive side of the ball Mario Williams and Jason Allen are two of our Free Agents that have me wondering will he be back. I think Mario in Wades system is better than Demarcus Ware and could rival anyone for sack title, but depending on whether or not he wants to take a pay cut or make a deal that is cap friendly he could be lost this offseason.

On the Offensive side of the ball, Arian Foster (Enough said?)! I mean come on the guy has the record for most rushing yards in a players first two playoff games. Look it up no one else has done so. He also is the only RB to rush for over 100 yds against the Ravens in the Post season EVAR! I have no doubt he will be back on this team next year. Andre, you got your first playoff, and your first playoff win, now it is time for your first Super Bowl win! Offensive line, looked supreme, a false start by Caldwell irritated me, but otherwise Haloti was Ngata problem. Ben Tate got no love this past Sunday, I am wondering what happened to get him 0 touches? TJ Yates threw three Interceptions but I am impressed by him. I honestly think he will be a good QB definite starter of the future whether for the Texans or someone else he will be starting somewhere in a few years. 

I save a whole paragraph for Mr. Jacoby Jones. So much raw talent, but has not been able to capitalize on any of it. His hands have been questionable always, and something is wrong. Every time he gets a punt you wonder if he will run it back because he can. And every time you see him going to field a punt you wonder if he is going to muff the hell out of it. He had a horrible day at PR Sunday, and was part of the reason the Texans season ended. BUT, THAT DOES NOT GIVE ANYONE THE RIGHT TO THREATEN LIFE AND LIMB. NOR DOES IT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE HIM FEEL UNSAFE IN HIS OWN HOME BURNING HIS JERSEY ON HIS LAWN. I don’t know whether he will return to Houston next season, and I was soo mad at him during the game. But WE ARE HOUSTONIANS people! We are not Raider fans, from Philly, or NYC. Act right because you are giving the rest of us bad names! That is all I have to say about that as i Shake my Head in disappointment that some of the classiest fans in the country have a few bad apples committing classless acts.

Coach Kubiak and Wade Phillips along with Rick Smith receive an A++ for this year. Kubiak let Phillips run his D and showed that he (Gary) could effectively run this team when he isn’t worried about what the Hell his DC is doing.

This Team is my team. No Matter win or lose I will always root for the Texans! I will watch every game. But NEXT year the rest of the League should be scared cuz we ARE HUNGRY! 

I love Smash Mouth

Arian Foster "Namaste"

Namaste to all my readers, I know you number in the single digits but it is ok! Anyways it is Tuesday, Houston whooped up on Cincinnati three days ago, and many of us are still hungover from the game. Now we get to face the one team we have never beaten. The Baltimore Ravens host the Houston Texans on Sunday. Am I excited hell yeah! Am I going to call this a Win? Hell no! Ray Rice is a great Running back, Their D while some are getting past their prime are still one of the scariest. (Note I didnt say scariest, because the two best Defenses left in the Playoffs are Houston and San Fran those are the scariest this year). 

As the title says I love Smash Mouth, not the band (though some of their songs are quite catchy), but the style of football I grew up with. I am young in the eyes of veteran football fans who remember Earl Campbell runnin in the Astrodome, Tom Landry being an amazing head coach, Brett Favre’s rookie season (I know it was in my life time but I was poking fun at the fact that he was in the league for so damn long) or even Too Tall Jones being too damn tall. But I do remember Smash mouth football. Growing up watching Texas vs Texas A&M through out the late 80’s-present, rooting for the Bucs during their superbowl run, and playing in Smash mouth style teams through out my life, I believe there is nothing better than a team who runs the ball efficiently, relies on the pass to keep D’s honest, and the battle of the trenches being where all the action is at. 

Now I know that Houston runs the West Coast offense, and isnt really a smash mouth team, but I see them as a hybrid of sorts. The NFL has gone to an Air Force style Offense, where the Pilots (QBs and WRs) are supported by the rest of the team. Defenses are set up to bend but not break but without a Good QB/O-Line/WRs one or any combination, the Defenses aren’t as good. I have been enjoying the ferocity our D has shown, and the run first Offense. An elusive back in Arian Foster but Ben Tate so far has looked like a bruiser sets up our amazing run team led by a well coordinated Offensive Line. Duane Brown and Chris Meyers performed like All-Pros even though they barely were recognized. Mike Brisiel has been a monster not letting a silly thing like a broken leg keep him from playing. Until the end of the season I thought Brisiel was just a good guard surrounded by better Lineman. But with Caldwell in while Mike was recovering there was a huge drop off in talent and it was quite visible.

As I ramble and ramble my excitement increases. I hope the rest of you are as excited as I am. GO TEXANS BEAT BALTIMORE!

“Why Texans WILL WIN!” or How I imitate national sports writers

JJ Watt PICK 6!This is a Post about why the game in Baltimore on Sunday does not scare me. I will highlight some points and convince everyone in the world as to why Houston will come out with a victory this coming Sunday!

POINT 1: Baltimore’s filled with crime- Baltimore has the fifth highest amount of violent crime in the United states behind the likes of Detroit, Oakland, St. Louis, and Memphis. That is scary. BTW Houston is a respectable 20th on that list.

POINT 2: Flacco autocorrects to Flaccid- via @MayJ6: “ Hey  …  — I just found out Joe Flacco autocorrects to Joe Flaccid.” Coincidence I think not, this point is very substantial to my argument because anyone named Joe Flaccid isn’t going to stand a chance versus a Defense that takes the virginity of women by looking at them. Gotta be rock hard to handle them!

POINT 3: Tim Tebow won- If anything God is on the side of Houston and not Baltimore since we have so many connections to Denver and Tim Tebow! Gary Kubiak, was John Elway’s Backup during those superbowls and there is an obvious pipeline between the Mile High City, and the Bayou City!

POINT 4: Even a Raven shat on the Ravens- I was doing some stuff at my house took a Baltimore Ravens logo and Texans Logo put them on my porch for a crafty thing I was doing. A raven (which are extremely abundant in Flagstaff AZ) landed on my patio and literally crapped on the Ravens logo. the Texans logo was left unscathed.

POINT 5: The Texans are undefeated in the Playoffs- Yep that is right, the Texans have never lost a playoff game Baltimore hasn’t won at home since 2000 (before the Texans inaugural season). If you need more reason than that then you have a mental dysfunction!

That is why the Texans will win! Enough Said!

Disclaimer: These are not the actual beliefs of the Poster just a satirical impersonation of the drivel he has read and heard about how the Texans wouldn’t beat Cincinnati nor the Ravens. If you believe any of this to be a representation of what the author believes you need to get a head examination!

Thank you!